Butt in a sling


“Guuuuurl! How did you manage that?” I whistled as I appraised the damage. There was no bleeding and it appeared to be lodged just under the skin.

“I was sitting on the edge of the fishing dock and when I went to get up I guess I pushed back and managed to impale myself on the dock!” Hannah explained.


“The good news is that it seems very superficial, so I should be able to remove it here…” And not travel back to the ER for the third time in 48 hours!

“Oh thank God. How horrible would it be to have to go the emergency room with a splinter in my bum?”

“Ohhhh, they have seen it all, Hannah, so I am sure that this wouldn’t faze them a bit!” I reassured her. She giggled. “OK, hop up onto the examination table and I will just give the area a wash with soap and water and then try to maneuver it out.”

I closed the door and helped Hannah get up and lay prone on the table. It was pretty uncomfortable with her hip slightly extended and she winced in pain.

“Hang on! I will grab something to put under your hips.” I ran to the infirmary across the hall and pulled a blanket from the shelf. I rolled it as I went back to the health office. “Let’s put this under there and take the pressure off.” I told Hannah as she lifted her hips up and I stuffed the blanket in there.

“Whew! Much better.” Hannah sighed in relief.

I pulled the leg of her shorts up and tucked them under so I could fully expose the area. There was a knock at the door. Both Hannah and I froze. 

“Who is it?” Hannah whispered. I went to the window on the door and pulled back the side of the curtain to peak out. Lydia waved at me and I gave her a tiny wave back and then quickly closed the curtain.

“It’s Lydia. Is it OK if I let her in? I could probably use the help!” I whispered to Hannah as I realized how awkward this was with her bottom up in the air! ‘Social safety’ was another issue I had let lapse! Granted, Hannah was staff, but still, not a bad idea to have a witness in any situation that required a closed door. I made a mental note.

“Oh sure. No big deal. It’s not like she’s my boss or anything!” Hannah responded sarcastically.

“Good point.”

“It’s OK Anne. I was just joking. Lydia can come in.”

I opened the door a crack and smiled at Lydia. 

“Soooooo…Lydia. Watcha doin’ right now?” I asked coyly. 

“Just delivering a stack of health forms for the next camp session.” Lydia smiled and looked a little confused. “Why?”

“Let’s play!”

I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the office. She stumbled passed the door and I swiftly closed it behind her.

“Perfect timing. Hannah has a butt load of trouble!” I waved my arm Vanna-like toward the massive splinter. “And I could use your help! Wanna stay and play?”

Hannah looked over her shoulder and smiled up at her boss. 

“Awkward!” Hannah sang as Lydia covered her gaping mouth with her hand.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s