We each grabbed our belongings from our heap on the dock and headed towards the boat house to return our life jackets.

“Well that was quite an impressive display. Maybe this camp is a good influence.”

“Did you seriously think camp is a bad influence?”

“I wondered a bit at general swim, with all the wimpy kids asking you about their hang nails.” Himself scoffed.

“I told you! They just need reassurance. Don’t be such a Judgey McJudgerson!” I chastised him.

“Daddy! Aren’t you glad you wore your life jacket after all?” Daughter One asked him as she took off her dripping jacket and placed it on the hook.

“Yup. You guys were right about that one. Seems like you have learned a lot of good information at camp.”

“In swimming class we learned rescue breathing and CPR and how to throw a ring buoy and how to get to safety if you fall through ice on a lake and that you need to move your arms and your legs when treading water so the turtles can’t attack you…” Daughter One told us as she wrapped herself up in her sandy towel.

“…but maybe some bad information too…” I whispered to my husband.

Source

“Ya Dad. We have learned a lot of stuff. We know all the parts of the canoe and the paddle. We know how to get in and out of a canoe without tipping it. We learned how to do a J stroke and a draw stroke and a full sweep. Always wear a life jacket. Bald headed men should wear hats when canoeing. Never bring your pet beaver or chinchilla on a canoe ride,” Daughter Two piped up as she hung her life jacket up. I stole a look at my husband. I raised an eyebrow. He looked a little confused too.

“That’s a lot of rules.” Himself said, playing along, as he struggled out of his ill fitting jacket. 

“Oh ya Daddy. There are a lot of rules at camp.”

“The chinchilla has me a little confused though. Why can’t you bring a chinchilla on a canoe?”

“I think it’s cuz they will eat the wood? I dunno. There are a lot of safety rules, Daddy,” Daughter Two informed him as we started up the stone steps to the main house.

“Like what?”

“You need to stay away from the gap under the Deer Hut cuz once a bear made a den under there. The counselors had to lure him away with Twinkies but you never know when he might come back,” Daughter One volunteered.

Thinking of making a break for it?

“Raccoons live in the bushes on the edge of camp. One night a camper tried to run away through the bushes and he was never seen again,” Daughter Two told us with a hushed voice.

“Oh, now come on. That’s just silly! Who told you that?”

“One of the campers,” Daughter One told us with wide eyes. “It’s true Dad.”

“Ya and if you have to go potty at night you have to beware the creepy toilet man, so that is why you have to take a buddy with you.” Daughter Two added.

“Ooooh. Creeeeeepy toilet maaaaaan,” my son whispered.

“Ok, we’ve gone from silly stories to the ridiculous! There is no creepy toilet man you guys! That’s someone’s over active imagination at work there.” Himself told them. 

Little white lies. They are the secret weapon of anyone who has to care for children.